Caleb

Caleb had left behind the party drug scene and was making a decent living as a sous chef and bartender. By early 2020, they were living with their partner Beck, who was also working in food service, and using cocaine again. Alcohol addiction fueled by the pressures of working in food service combined with trying crack had already been a drain on their cashflow. The pair’s stability took a further hit from getting sick with Covid-19 and the loss of income from quarantining. Finally, they both lost their jobs due to the pandemic, which led to the loss of their apartment.

“The street drugs this time around had changed,” Caleb said. “We didn’t know it at the time, but everything contained lots of fentanyl and possibly xylazine.”

As their addictions deepened, together they would spend nearly three years cycling in and out of smaller and smaller apartments, crashing with friends, and spending days at a time drinking and using in trap houses (a place where drugs are sold and used, where people in that cycle often feel ‘trapped’.) They got by on panhandling.

“You really just have to lose your dignity,” Caleb said.

By late-December 2022, they were living in an abandoned garage. Caleb had been stabbed over money on two separate occasions. Beck had miscarried their child earlier that fall. Tired, hungry, and looking like two young backpackers, they were standing outside a convenience store when they were noticed by a good Samaritan, Mariah. She and her son were looking for someone else when they started up a conversation with the pair, and quickly realized they were on the street. That afternoon was also the beginning of a frigid weather pattern. Mariah invited them for a hot meal at a nearby diner.

“I was so self-conscious of my hands [which were stained by crack resin] that I kept going to the bathroom to wash them ... but also to scrape my stem and use,” Caleb said.

Over the next two months Mariah helped Caleb and Beck by arranging for temporary housing and connecting Caleb and Beck with PCHO for a more permanent solution. It was a series of small transitional steps over many weeks that gradually took Caleb and Beck emotionally and physically further away from the neighborhood trap houses.

Jamil Porter, their Outreach Coordinator, met with the group at a coffee shop to detail how PCHO prioritizes housing-first. Jamil also began guiding Caleb and Beck through the process of preparing for PCHO placement.

“Because of my addiction I was in active psychosis, so I was a bit skeptical about all the documents PCHO wanted from us,” Caleb said. They all worked together as a team to track down birth certificates, New York State identification, benefits cards, and Social Security cards. It was during this process that Caleb said he began to feel like people really cared. Beck was particularly motivated to get into housing—in fact, getting to his own place with a lease prompted the decision to take steps toward sobriety.

“It was huge not having to get drug tested,” Caleb said. “I was in end-stage alcoholism, but my crack use was curbing my drinking at that point, so I couldn’t exactly stop quickly as it was harm reduction.”

Caleb and Beck moved into their apartment toward the end of winter and later that spring discovered that Beck was pregnant.

“I found out I was having a kid and thought, ‘Ok, time to get ready,’” Caleb said. A combination of psychiatry and pharmaceutical interventions supported them in addressing their diagnosis of CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), discontinuing crack, and, after the birth of Rowan, giving up alcohol.

Today Caleb cares full-time for Rowan, with plans to go back to school to get into teaching. Beck is working two jobs and attending school for sports medicine.

“I missed out on a decade with my family,” Caleb said. “Now I want to reconnect with them and create a new life for myself.”

That includes things like taking a hike in the woods with Rowan and their dog. “Just to go outside and take a breath of fresh air and smell the trees, and to know I am actually enjoying it. That’s something sobriety gives you—finding happiness in small things. Having that housing made all this possible.”