Jessica

Be remembered for the good things.

Jessica, 35, has survived homelessness, addiction, gun violence, and forced prostitution. But today, she is living independently in a supportive environment, receiving treatment for her substance use disorder, and hoping to begin nursing school this fall.

Jessica grew up in a single-parent home in northeast Rochester, with a mother who held down two jobs while trying to hold together her family of five. By the time Jessica was school age, her two older brothers were gone—one incarcerated, the other sent to a residential home for troubled children. Jessica essentially became a mom figure to her younger brother.

When her mother had a nervous breakdown a few years later and lost her job, the family moved to what Jessica remembers as “a terrible apartment full of cockroaches.” Jessica, who already was frequently suspended from middle school for fighting, took full advantage of her mother’s extended absences to invite friends over to drink and smoke pot, both of which were readily available in the apartment. When she was arrested for shoplifting, Jessica, too, was sent to a residential setting.

She lost count of how many times she ran away from the facility until she was moved to a more secure group home. But she continued running, and stopped only when she discovered, at 15, that she was pregnant. Jessica then was sent to a home for teen mothers, where she stayed until giving birth to a son. It was at this time, while juggling high school classes and caring for her son, that life threw her yet another curveball.

Her biological father, whom she had never met, was free on parole and asked to meet her. Jessica agreed and soon found herself swept up in her father’s chaotic but exciting lifestyle. His substance use disorder and uneven lifestyle eventually drove her back home, at least for a few months. Leaving her baby with her mom, Jessica then moved in with a man who forced her into prostitution to pay for his drug use. He physically and emotionally abused her with pistol whippings, beatings, and death threats. When he landed back in prison, she was relieved but terrified. Suddenly she was alone–and afraid. Heroin, and later fentanyl, took her fears away.

From there, Jessica’s story zigs and zags. She had another child. She relapsed multiple times. She was jailed again. She had another baby. She spent seven years with a man who eventually ended the relationship because of her substance use. Finally, after being homeless for months and facing the possibility of permanently losing her parental rights, Jessica decided she wanted one more chance to make things right and reached out for help.

Jessica

Today, she lives in a one-bedroom apartment in a PCHO-sponsored building. She is “micro dosing” to manage her substance use disorder. She is learning to be comfortable living by herself in a space where “no one can make me do things I don’t want to do.” And she hopes to begin a nursing program this fall, with the goal of working at a hospital or at a rehab center for others with substance use disorders.

While she knows she cannot change her own story, Jessica wants the opportunity to change someone else’s.

“I’m not what people label me as,” she says. “I’m not a crack head. I’m not a prostitute. I’m Jessica. And when my time comes, I’m going to be remembered for the good things I did to give back to the community.”